My last post was in 2014. A lot has happened since then. We moved back from the islands. It was mostly to be back near our family. At that time my Dad was in year 11 of his Parkinson’s journey and I found it difficult to navigate supporting my mom through phone calls and the occasional visit to the Mainland.
Two months ago today my dad passed. I’m so thankful that I was there. He was literally surrounded by family. How we all ended up around his death bed is a story of hope and forgiveness. I’m still amazed by that moment. Experiencing my Dad’s peaceful last breath of life as our voices called out our love to him is a memory I will never forget.
Three weeks later my sister died. She was a big part of the hope and forgiveness story. She was estranged from us. Choices she made throughout her life kept her at a distance. Dad’s hope to see her one last time won over the pride and she arrived for those last 10 days. Stories came out from her last few months before arriving at the house. She almost died twice.When i picked her up from the train station she was recovering from a recent dog bite to the face. She was fighting fatigue and sickness her entire visit but was still present with all of us. Her last words to me when we dropped her back off at the train station were the same words we shared as Dad was dying, “No matter what happens it’s going to be okay.” We continued to text over the next few weeks. I knew something was wrong when I had texted her an old picture of us by the oak tree and didn’t get a response. Years of abuse took a toll and her body finally gave out. She coded on a lifeflight to the hospital. All the years of not knowing if my sister were alive have faded as I hold on to those last days with her; those last days with her making our family whole.
The late Toni Morrison used to ask herself, “What do I have to do that is so important that I would die if I didn’t do it?” I’m asking myself the same thing. The deaths of my father and sister have made it clear that life is too short to not follow a dream. So I’m stepping away from paid ministry life and into the life of a student. Same Dreamer. New Chapter.
Solacegirl 